I wanted to put together a mobile web drawing app that uses the canvas API available in HTML5 and also responds to touch events. I also wanted to draw mustaches on hipsters.

I found an awesome boilerplate for a touch-driven drawing app here. And from there I tweaked it a bit, added some simple javascript for the buttons, a nice slick web font, and a handful of choice hipsters from LATFH. For the time being, you can direct your smartphone here to start ‘staching hipsters.

]]> http://delmarsenties.com/blog/2012/03/simple-html5-canvas-drawing-app-stache-the-hipster/feed/ 0 http://delmarsenties.com/blog/2012/02/the-one-about-tall-heights/ http://delmarsenties.com/blog/2012/02/the-one-about-tall-heights/#comments Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:42:07 +0000 David http://delmarsenties.com/blog/?p=126

Tall Heights gig poster. Check them out.

Tall Heights gig poster. Check them out.

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Tláloc, Teotihuacan god of rain and water.

DailyBOS from the talented @kbonami

These last four years at the Phoenix…

• I’ve seen at least a dozen Photoshoppings of Mayor Menino. I fully expect to see a dozen more.
• I’ve maintained a list of some of the most hilarious comments overheard from our classifieds Customer Service Reps. (“Sir, are you looking for a relationship? Or just a wild sexy time?”)
• I’ve built the same site, three times, on three different CMS’s. And it was porn.
• I’ve had a beer or two with some of the most compelling voices in alt journalism.
• I never actually learned the proper naming convention and folder structure for our shared graphics files.
• I’ve found an empty bottle of Grey Goose in my desk drawer.
• Almost every font I use is downloaded and imported, which I’ve been made to understand can make the entire network explode, the roof collapse, the gates of hell swing open, and the reckoning commence.
• I’ve saved a copy of Clif Garboden’s “Off the Press” in my email draftbox, and have memorized pieces of it.
• I’ve found myself in awe of my colleagues; not just for what they do, but why they do it.
• I established the DS Rejection Collection. And filled it out quite nicely, pretty quickly.
• I’ve made a cameo in at least a thousand tourists’ photos of Fenway Park. I’m huge in Japan.
• I got (almost) free coffee at Il Giardino’s for a while, when they thought that I was Italian.
• I’ve been Hoovered up to the Heavens on the day of Rapture.
• I’ve gone to the NENPA awards to watch my colleagues kick ass.
• I still can’t hear a difference between Passion Pit and Naked and Famous.

[ More + ]

Had the honor of being contacted by The Village Voice to contribute an illo for their feature. The idea was to comment on the current state of art & illo. But why comment when you can just like?

« Blow it up

I hereby announce the inauguration of the DS Rejection Collection, with a poster designed as part of a pitch to the Boston Cyberarts Festival. Although the Collection itself is new, it represents a long and tumultuous tradition of rejection, going as far back as the seventh grade year-end dance. And also that Chumbawumba song where the guy gets knocked down. But he gets up again. Figuratively.

« Blow it up

The Circle Theory of American voters stipulates that the extreme left and extreme right eventually meet at rock bottom. It’s worth netting up some of the tastiest bottom-feeders.

1. The Confused Historian [1] – Church and State
I believe that this is a Christian nation; that there is, in fact, no separation between Church and State. Furthermore, I’m under the impression that our forefathers meant for this to be the case. My favorite bits of evidence to ignore include (but are not limited to): the First Amendment of the Constitution, and Jefferson’s letters calling for a “wall of separation between church and state.” When confronted, I depart from logic and embark on a magical mystery adventure of catechismal fiction constructed entirely from embossed Hallmark cards. Somewhere in heaven, George Washington and Jesus are executing a perfect high-five.

2. The Knee-Jerk Unionist
I’m under the impression that all companies are bound by Trotsky’s Law of Happytime, which states that employees can’t be fired, laid off, interrupted from a nap, or harassed with “quotas” and “deadlines” during work hours. So when people are laid off, I become vaguely angry at the entire company. Sometimes even at the entire concept of capitalism! You see, I’m so progressive, even my historical context takes place in the future, allowing me to remain totally unaware of the entire twentieth century. That’s why I continue to think that the way to eradicate poverty is through the nationalization of industry, rather than by empowering the needy with education and seed funding. Kim Jung who?

3. The Confused Lemming on the left
OMG Obama has done, like, NOTHING in office. I know that to be true because I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, which means it didn’t happen. Also, all Republicans are douches.

4. The Confused Lemming on the right
I think Sarah Palin is a viable candidate for public office. It doesn’t bother me that she’s never expressed anything resembling a political platform, because I identify and empathize with her personally, and I’m easily distracted. I also identify and empathize with Bella, from Twilight. She’s adorable. Edward/Jacob 2012!!!! SQUEELZ!

5. The Confused Historian [2] – Nazi Turrets Syndrome.
Yep. I equate Obamacare with the indiscriminate torture and slaughter of 6 million innocent people. To me, the two are wholly indistinguishable. Try and prove me wrong! Do I offend you? Maybe that’s because you’re a communist homosexual with jellybeans for testicles.

6. The Pseudo-Intellectual Protester
When my neighborhood Blockbuster went out of business and my friend’s roommate was out of a job, I staged a protest against both Blockbuster and Obama. And Fox News. And racism. After work one day, all my friends and I set up all of our MacBooks on a Blockbuster parking lot — all playing various Fellini films rented from Netflix — and we performed a resistance piece based on folkloric Uzbeki harvest rites, chanting some decidedly progressive song lyrics. I think we came pretty close to getting arrested this time.

7. The Homophobe
I agree with Sean Bielat’s assessment that gays are the same as short people in their inability to serve their country. To me, the logic is air-tight: If you are sexually attracted to members of your own gender, there’s a chance you may compromise a mission by dropping your weapon in the midst of a cross-fire and start leg-humping your commander. Gays are notorious for such behavior. Obviously, this risk outweighs any other so-called “credentials” a homo may have, such as fluency in Farsi, Arabic, or Chinese. Also, I use the Bible to justify my homophobia, and ignore the eery parallels to the Abolitionist movement of 150 years ago, when slave owners used the Bible to similar ends (Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT).

8. The Confused Employer
As an employer, I hire people based on their capacity to perform a given task, because I understand that this is the best way to ensure that this task will be performed adequately. However, this logic flies out the window when applied to voting. Rather than “hiring” a candidate based on his or her competence, I base my decision on attributes that are either personal or totally irrelevant. For example, I might vote based on a candidate’s race or religion, believing that this allows them to “get it,” whereas another candidate of similar qualifications–but different race or religion–would not. I might vote based on a position that has nothing to do with that office, such as the issue of abortion, which is almost entirely of the President’s hands. This is kind of like hiring a teacher because she looks like that girl you gave you a handy in high school. Needless to say, if I made this sort of decision at work, my ass would be hauled to court like a hog to slaughter. But that’s grown-up time. Voting is a super-happy-fun-time thing I do with my friends, so I feel justified in simply saying that I do it “my way,” and saving myself all the hassle of educating myself on the issues. Politics is like arts and crafts, but way funner!!!

9. Guilty by Association
Your candidate once shared a subway car with a guy who talks during movies at the theater. And if he couldn’t preclude that guy from eventually developing a movie-talking habit, how can I trust that he’ll preclude Iran from enriching plutonium?? THINK ABOUT IT, PLZ!!

10. The Hard-liner
My candidate says he refuses to compromise on any issues, due to a hormonal imbalance and a need to constantly prove himself to an ex-girlfriend from the ninth grade. But rather than pity his stunted emotional development, or donate to endocrine research for his improvement, I’ve decided to vote for him. I take one look at our system of government (bicameral legislature, series of checks and balances, judicial oversight), and understand one thing about our forefathers: They wanted to ensure that we would never, EVER compromise on any issues, under any circumstances. Also, on a practical note, I’m of the opinion that filling Washington with theatrical, grumpy old white men who are all unwilling to compromise with each other is the only way to ensure that I’ll get exactly what I want, all the time. That’s the whole point of America!

Did I forget anyone? Tweet @delmarsenties, let me know.

In American politics, Republicans routinely speak in broad themes and tend to blur the details, while Democrats typically ignore broad themes and focus on details. Republicans, for example, speak constantly of “liberty” and “freedom” and couch practically all their initiatives—tax cuts, deregulation, and so forth—within these large categories. Democrats, on the other hand, talk more about specific programs and policies and steer clear of big themes. There is a reason for this: Republican themes, like “liberty,” are popular, while Republican policies often are not.

Read the whole article by Michael Tomasky for the New York Review of Books

In the wake of 9-11, the Bush administration launched a political branding initiative centered around the words “terror” and “evil.” It worked. We ate it up like a box of White Castle sliders. It validated our anger. Maybe you bought it, maybe you didn’t. The point is, enough of us did.

Before you write it off and key your neighbor’s car with the “W ’04″ sticker still on it, it’s worth evaluating how closely we were paying attention. Do you remember the specifics of any other Bush-era policy not affiliated with either of those two words, off the top of your head? Or do you just remember those two words?

There’s the TARP. But the GOP dropped it like an underaged prostitute when it became unpopular, and have swept it under a rug called Obama. No matter that most economists agree that the TARP (or some iteration of it) was actually a good thing, or at least a necessary step in our economic recovery; the GOP understands that it’s better to trash a tarnished brand than to try to redeem it. Not unlike a toilet scrubber, ultimately: If you got some shit on it while you were using it, throw it away and get a new one, because it’s not worth the cleanup job.

They conceive, develop, kill, and enforce their “product” branding in a way that’s concise, disciplined, and flawlessly in step with each other and with their base. How does a bill become a law? First, mock it up as a bumper sticker. This is not a rant, it’s a love song; I wish my team had a Karl Rove in the dugout.

So, without further ado: A quick case study:

BRAND OBJECTIVES (What image would you like the brand to convey?)
The GOP would like to be seen as the party of…

- Smaller, limited government
…even though Reagan himself didn’t really do anything to reduce federal spending, after his brief attempt with Social Security spending in 1981.
…even though it was Clinton, and neither of the Bushes, who restored fiscal responsibility during the nineties. And it was Bush 43, not Obama, who converted the surplus to the debilitating deficit we have today, due to his reckless federal spending –coupled with tax cuts– in an inspiring defiance of basic math.
…even though it was Bush, not Obama, who passed the TARP.
…even though the most expensive piece of legislation to hit the floor under the Obama Administration was proposed by the right: the extension of Bush’s tax cuts, which are projected to add $4 trillion to the deficit.
…even though support for “cap and trade” was once part of the McCain/Palin platform before it became unpopular with the right. Where my mavericks at?

- “Liberty” and “Freedom”
…despite Guantanamo.
…despite the refusal to extend the right to marry and the opportunity to serve, to gay Americans.
…despite the “Patriot Act”, itself a brilliant piece of Brand Vernacular. It’s actually an acronym for “Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism.” In other words, wiretapping. Also known as the opposite of freedom, liberty, and patriotism.

BRAND VERNACULAR (Your everyday language can subtly reinforce your brand.)

- The vilification of the word “elite” – Part I: The etymology
They took a word that means “best” and used it to mean “worst”. They literally reversed the word’s meaning, and it has caught on like a plague of stupid. I’m impressed — as long as the word “impressed” means embarrassed.

- The vilification of the word “elite” – Part 2: Further down the rabbit hole
The black son of a single mother is an “elitist”, and the son of a wealthy, political family is not. What happened to the party of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps?” How did this happen?

- The vilification of the word “elite” – Part 3: The “liberal media elite”
Fox News, enjoying the most elite stature in the business, slings the term at its competitors like a threatened orangutan.

This arrangement of three words has allowed Fox News to discredit any ideology that conflicts with its own narrative, in two distinct ways:

1. It allows them to dismiss a contrary expert opinion simply because it comes from an expert, which is by nature an elitist, and thereby disconnected from the “real world.”
2. It allows them to accuse other news organizations of bias. The genius here is that in calling Fox’s hypocrisy (or “attacking”), the competing news organization risks proving them right. FOX has essentially “purchased the rights” to the Bias Accusation. No one else can lay claim.

One more note on the slyest, and most clever of woodland mammals. In 2003, The University of Maryland’s Program on International Policy Attitudes (PIPA.org) published a report on just how sorely (almost comically) misinformed the average Fox News viewer is. The report is available for download here, if you can stand the elitism. To sum, in their words, “The extent of Americans’ misperceptions vary significantly depending on their source of news. Those who receive most of their news from Fox News are more likely than average to have misperceptions. Those who receive most of their news from NPR or PBS are less likely to have misperceptions. These variations cannot simply be explained as a result of differences in the demographic characteristics of each audience, because these variations can also be found when comparing the demographic subgroups of each audience.”

- “Obamacare”
Which term are you familiar with? “Obamacare?” Or “Health Care Reform Bill?” Which one is easier to remember, and easier to say? And what sort of brand name is “Children’s Health Insurance Reauthorization Act,” for something as incredible, and as ground-breaking as it is? If you haven’t heard of it, it extends health care coverage to 11 million children. By simply calling it something like “My Child Counts,” the Administration could protect it from the fangs of the soulless, like strings of garlic.

BRAND REPRESENTATION
- Sarah Palin
Palin is a living, breathing branding element; essentially a mascot. She has (literally) no political platform, no coherent agenda of her own, or political substance of any nature beyond her image. But that image is extremely valuable. In fact, according to Newsweek, it’s worth $14m once you tally her memoir, her salary from Fox News, her reality show, and her speaking engagements. She’s the GOP’s Pez dispenser: Whenever she opens her mouth, they get an enjoyable little treat of no nutritional value.

So, Mr. President – What happened to the branding and marketing initiatives behind “Yes We Can?” Let’s bring that back. Here’s how.

1. Communicate your achievements
Those annoying emails from Natalie Foster and Mitch Stewart are not enough. I don’t open them anymore. They’re totally out of sync with our culture. We are the people of Twitter. If it’s not Tweeted, it didn’t really happen. If it’s not GCal’ed, it’s not going to happen. If it doesn’t have a logo and a website it’s illegitimate. I’m not about to dig for your accolades as often as FOX is liable to report that you farted in Church. With a deluge of expertly-crafted brand material pushing us in one direction and nothing but skepticism pushing against it, the un-branded are bound to lose. Ours is not naturally a culture of skepticism, but one of conviction; be it adequately informed or not. Fight back with information.

2. Identify your talking points, and repeat them.
We need to hear things more than once to internalize them. We need to hear them from more than one person. Conversely, let’s respond to claims that are untrue when they are made and repeated by the GOP. It’s in our nature to believe something we hear over and over again, and it doesn’t matter how absurd it is.

3. Make it emotional
When things are emotional, we forgo facts. Middle-class Americans who’ve never followed politics before are being drawn in from the sidelines to picket against your proposed tax cuts to them, and instead defending tax cuts for the wealthy. Not only did the GOP manage to stir emotions with an issue as banal as tax policy, but they managed to activate the middle class against its own best interests, and against the advice of mainstream economists. How many teachers do you suppose are out there, supporting budget cuts that will leave them unemployed and their districts underfunded? How many government workers and military families are out there, demanding that we reduce the programs that feed their families and care for their sick? How did the Party of the Wealthy harness this image of populism without changing their policies to accommodate the middle class? With exceptional branding initiatives that most of us haven’t even noticed. By deliberately misusing and repeating emotional words like “socialism,” “liberty,” and “defend.”

Let’s take back the populist vote. Let’s use words like “Civil Rights” and “Human Rights” when talking about the Health Care Reform Bill, or about the rights that should be afforded to our gay brothers and sisters but aren’t. As it stands, the GOP is arguing tax policy more passionately than we are for human rights. How?

There’s an old joke among lawyers: When the evidence is on your side, argue with that. When passion is on your side, argue with that. When nothing is on your side, just argue. But, Mr. President, we have both evidence and passion on our side. So let’s fucking do this.